1 post tagged “democratic presidential primaries”

The democratic primaries in Indiana and North Carolina got me thinking about state flags. They are symbolic and many people take pride in them. But they are meant to represent states and I think that we could do better. The following are ideas for state flags that I think would better represent the fine people of these United States:

New York: My home state deserves something that truly represents reality. I suggest a forklift carrying a huge stack of cash being operated by a teamster who is delivering the cash to a well-dressed upstate Republican to represent how politicians north of Westchester milk the city of billions.

Mississippi: Is there really a confederate flag still on your flag? That's gotta go. Should be replaced by anything else, but I suggest maybe a gravestone marking "Trent Lott's Political Career."

New Jersey: It should just be the album cover to Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the U.S.A."

Michigan: They can have New York's old flag. No one would notice.

North Dakota: "Like South Dakota, but without Mt. Rushmore" emblazoned on the bottom.

Idaho: A farmer in the middle of nowhere, which in Idaho, is synonymous with "everywhere," pointing to a huge nondescript field of dirt saying,"There's potatoes in that dirt!"

Massachusetts: A furious Ted Kennedy, Whitey Bulger bribing someone and a Red Sox fan throwing a dart at Johnny Damon. There was a lot to cover there.

California: As explosions go off in the background, Governor Schwarzenegger, as the Terminator, creates a landslide to put out a forest fire. Plus Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton in a head-on collision.

West Virginia: On the real, I would feel bad if I made fun of this state.

Nevada: A frat boy holding a plastic yard glass full of booze puking on himself next to an imploding old casino and the motto, "America's largest desert/mob graveyard."